Honor Your Spouse
By Chris and Carmen Garner
coupleMost couples promise to honor their spouse in their wedding vows. Yet, do they understand what they are saying? Do they even know what they have said? They have promised to esteem and respect their spouse, but have they given any thought to what that means? Dale Harcombe wrote that “Honoring your spouse means building them up and making others think well of them. It means praising them and accepting them for who they are and not trying to change them into someone else. It means honoring them with your actions and your words. It means honoring them with your body and being faithful to them.” Couples need to hold to their wedding vows and the commitment they made to honor each other. By doing so, they will be witnesses to their children and the world, and will fulfill what the Bible commands: “Give everyone what you own him… if honor, then honor.” (Romans 13:7)
Honoring our spouse begins with possessing the right attitude. Greg Smalley wrote that “Honor is a decision to view our spouse as a priceless treasure – a person of high worth and value.” We must make a daily decision to view our spouse as a valuable treasure and it does not matter whether they deserve it or not. Too often we use poor behavior as an excuse to dishonor our spouse. Yes, sinful or wrong behavior must be addressed, but honoring our spouse is something we promised to do; it is Biblical and necessary. The Bible tells us to; “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3) Usually, it is selfishness and self-centeredness that gets in the way of honoring our spouse. We must begin with a right attitude.
A right attitude begins with love. What is Love? 1John 3:16 tells us that we know what love is because Jesus Christ gave Himself for us. Likewise, we demonstrate love by giving; giving honor and value to our spouse. It is a decision we make and a gift we give. It may help to make a list of the positive things our spouse brings to the relationship. What attributes do we appreciate about our spouse? What are his or her abilities and strengths? Keeping a list can help us when we face the rough times we all go through. We also need to extol those positives to our spouse, our children and others. We need to treat our spouse with respect; even when they might not act so nicely toward us. No, we don’t gloss over sinful or poor behavior, but we still can be respectful while addressing the behavior. Healthy communication is more likely to get through than if we yell and scream or stoop to their level.
Honoring our spouse; treating him or her with respect and value can dramatically change our marriage relationship. It is a matter of obeying God’s word as Paul wrote in Philippians 4:8; dwelling on the good things, not the negative. It is not just about our spouse, it is about us; our treating our spouse as a valued child of God.
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