The Goal of Parenting by Chris Garner
Views of the goal of parenting may vary depending how one is raised. Some parents just get by and live one day at a time or seek to endure until their children are old enough to leave the home and take responsibility for their own lives. Or they may have no goals and decide to be their children’s buddies and just get along. Others detest the childhood they had and seek to do everything they can to make their children’s childhood different. Their parents may have been overly strict, so they compensate by being overly lenient with their own children. Still others are overly strict thinking they can ensure that their children do not stray from the straight and narrow. It is important that parents find a balance and raise their children according to Biblical principles rather than their own ideas about parenting.
The Bible states that God brings a man and woman together because He seeks Godly offspring. These are children who love the Lord and desire to serve Him. They will live according to the Spirit rather than the flesh or the world. Raising children to be Godly adults is more difficult than it appears, and it takes a lot of work.
Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend state that mature character is the real goal of parenting. It is the parent’s responsibility to prepare their children for the life ahead of them and to guide their children in developing the attributes that will help them become responsible adults. Character in a person means that he has moral qualities, integrity and that he takes responsibility for his life. It can be defined as the sum of a person’s abilities to deal with life as God designed him to. Parents need to help their children become functioning, healthy adults.
The Importance of Acceptance
Character development, discipline, training and guidance are all very important aspects of parenting, but if your children do not know they are loved, the work of parenting will not matter. Raising children in a Christian home does not guarantee Godly offspring. There are children who have rejected the faith of their parents and lived destructive lives that would break any parent’s heart. Some of those children did not go astray for lack of material possessions or discipline, but because they did not know they were loved.
How important is love? Christians serve a God of love; He loved the world so much that He sent His only Son to die on a cross so people could be reconciled to Him. The Bible consistently speaks of the need to love God and love others, and it also puts a high premium on children. It is necessary that parents consistently demonstrate unconditional love for their children on a regular basis. Does this mean that parents don’t discipline their children? Certainly not! God disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6) and parents should also discipline their children in love. Unconditional love and acceptance is critically important to raising healthy children. Parents must separate who their children are from any misbehavior. Correct misbehavior, but do it in such a way that the child is absolutely sure of your love for him.
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