Co-Parenting Communication Done Right: There is a Difference
As people settle into the New Year, the excitement of the holidays begins to wane and parents settle back into their old methods of co-parenting communication – with that in mind, let me offer some tips and information regarding how your communication with your co-parent can make all the difference in how your message is received:

• Address all matters in writing. Not text messages, e-mail or a traceable method of communications. If your only option is text messaging, be sure to send these messages to your e-mail for future reference.
• Address all matters in a business like tone and in a respectful manner. Ie. NOT: “I can’t believe you always bring him home late on Sunday nights, this is so like you to do.” INSTEAD: “Our parenting plan states that he is to be home at 8:00 p.m. on Sundays, please follow these orders so that everyone can rely on this schedule.”
• Pretend that all of your e-mails are being read by the judge in your case and your grandmother. Everything can be used as evidence in Court and it should be something that the judge can read and see you in a positive light.
• Do not bring personal issues, or relationship issues from the past, into any parenting communications. The past is the past and these communications should be about your child or children only.
• Reserve all communications to address the orders issued by the Court. Do not bring up other matters unless you are proposing changes and asking for input.
• Consider utilizing a communication coach or mediator to assist you with issues that are always sticking points. A simple modification of your parenting plan may be appropriate, or you may just need assistance in understanding why the plan doesn’t work for the other parent.
• Don’t assume anything. Your concern could be very valid and easily addressed. Don’t assume that because you used to know someone and how they dealt with you, that this will still be the case. Make every effort at adult communication that makes reasonable requests.
• Expect respect. If you are respectful in your communications, you should be able to expect this in return. If responses are harassing or disrespectful, set your boundaries by demanding respectful contact and if this does not occur, address this issue with the judge in your case. Guidelines can be placed on your communications in the form of Court orders.

Andrea E. Mouser is the owning partner of Mouser & Schmillen, PLLC, and has practiced family law in Arizona for the last seven years. Andrea is a Judge Pro Tem for Maricopa County, a Court certified Parenting Coordinator, a certified mediator, a volunteer military pro bono attorney and is currently a candidate for her Masters in Social Work at Arizona State University. Andrea is a step-mom her amazing fourteen year old step-son and mom to a nine month old girl. She is dedicated to assisting clients at every phase with their legal needs, knowing what it is like to be a married person and a parent, but believes that settlement and negotiation are best for all families. Andrea can be reached for consultation at her office at 480-422-3043 or check out her firm website at www.mslawaz.com.