Childbirth and Fathers: A Winning Combination
By Lakisa Muhammad
A recent study proved that the involvement of fathers in the pregnancy and birth process improved birth outcomes. The birth of a child is the birth of an answer. A solution to the social problems we face as a community. We must begin to welcome our solutions with the open arms of a mother and a father backed by a community of support. The problem is many women are pregnant and giving birth without the support of their child’s father. 

As the saying goes, steel sharpens steel, so we must identify the strong fathers among us and urge them to go after those of our men who need a role model father. Nope ladies, we can’t make our men fathers. We can, however, encourage them to fulfill their role by doing everything we can to celebrate the small steps they take. As frustrating as it may be with an absentee man in your life–cussing, arguing, and holding your child hostage really won’t help matters. The role model fathers in our community need not be perfect, but have a willing spirit to help strengthen those men who may have never had a father themselves. These men may have never been shown affection, therefore they don’t know how to give it. What nature or nurture may not have taught them can be modeled for them to emulate. 

I can’t personally say enough about the joy of having a supportive partner during pregnancy. My first pregnancy was with twins, and it was difficult. I was in and out of the hospital. When I wasn’t in the hospital, I was on bedrest. My husband cooked, cleaned, cared for me, and never once complained all while working and maintaining our home. I don’t even want to imagine the stress I would have faced without him. My second pregnancy was as normal as they come, but the security and comfort my husband provided was invaluable.
We are learning more and more about the role of stress and how it can affect our birth outcomes. As a doula, I have personally seen how the stress of the father of the child simply not being present at the child’s birth can weigh so heavily on the mother that the absence tarnishes the whole birth experience. Creating a loving support team for a laboring mother is essential, and this team is incomplete without fathers.
Men, please don’t believe the portrayal of fathers in the labor room on TV! Your partner wants you there by her side. And while she may get a little mean, no one will be throwing things at you and verbally abusing you. In an A Mother’s Worth childbirth class series, each class is tailored to build confidence not only in mothers and their ability to birth, but also in fathers and their ability to support the women they love through the most vulnerable and powerful experience of her life. Your presence in pregnancy and childbirth is not only wanted, but desperately needed.
Lakisa Muhammad is the owner of A Mother’s Worth Birth Services where she serves the community as a childbirth and breastfeeding educator and a doula. When she is not teaching or attending a birth, she is enjoying life with her husband and their three children in Phoenix, AZ.
For more info: visit www.amothersworthbirthservices.com