Care vs. Candor by Chris Garner
John Maxwell wrote about the need for balance between care and candor in his book, The Five Levels of Leadership. He wrote about this in the context of leadership in a business environment, but the concept also applies to our marriage and family relationships. Mr. Maxwell stated that, “Care without candor creates dysfunctional relationships. Candor without care creates distant relationships.” We often see dysfunctional or distant relationships in our counseling and have experienced the fact that being out of balance either will hurt and possibly destroy relationships. Care defined is the concern or worry for another, while candor is frank or open expression. It is the balance of the two that helps bring about healthy relationships. We need this balance in our marriage relationship, but also in our relationships with children, parents, friends, really, anyone we experience relationship with. Maxwell stated that, “caring establishes the relationship while candor expands the relationship.” Any person I am in
relationship with first must know that I care for him or her or there will be no relationship. Yet, at the same time, our relationship will not grow without candor, the ability to speak truth openly
and honestly. Continued growth in the relationship requires this balance of both care and candor.
Another aspect of this concept is the fact that usually, one spouse will tend to be more caring, while the other will tend to be more candid. This can be a source of pain and hurt if we do not achieve a balance between care and candor in the marriage relationship. The relationship will not survive without the balance and it is incumbent on each spouse to learn from the other and be willing to grow and change in whichever area he or she is weaker in. By working together as husband and wife, we can better achieve this balance between care and candor, not only in our marriage relationship, but also in our other relationships.
Fortified Marriages Ministry
Phone: 480-699-2515
E-mail: info@fortifiedmarriages.com
Website: www.fortifiedmarriages.com